We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
