im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
