i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
