i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
