When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
