At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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