I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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