But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
