Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
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