everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
