I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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