I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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