Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
