This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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