And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
