it's not cheating when I paid for it
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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