yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
