I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
