after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
