Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
