I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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