I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
