Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
