the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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