I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
