Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
