...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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