I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
