Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
