I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I will be naked everywhere
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
