I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
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