They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
