It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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