Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
