If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
