she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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