I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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