you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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