did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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