Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
