You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
