You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
