It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
