I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
