Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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