I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Randomize
