I'm really into asian looking animals
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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