I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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