why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
