why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
