She is in my trunk
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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