Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
