I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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