I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
